Back Again

Funny how you say it matters,

But you can't tell me to whom.

I see how you try with your words,

But I'm too far gone.

 Funny how you say I'm enough

And can't answer for what.

Funny that you say I'm not alone

But where are you now?

 I hear you say there's hope,

But I still see only darkness.

I've ridden the highs, felt so low,

It comes and it goes

But it always comes back again.

 If I matter then please tell me why?

If I'm enough then for what?

If there's hope then why do I see myself

Always coming back around,

Back down to here.

Its too much pain,

more than I can bear.

I don't want to sign up

for another go round

I want off this crazy

merry go round.

You say it gets better

I hear you, it does,

But it never goes away

and I know it never will.

And it always comes back again.

Better without the drama

Better without the tears

Better without the yelling

And all the irrational fears

This world is better

Without the wounds

My Selfishness brings

Better without the pain

Of my kids with broken wings

Better without the heaviness

I just can't escape.

It always comes back again.

 Funny how you say it matters,

But you can't tell me to whom.

I see how you try with your words,

But I'm too far gone.

Funny how you say I'm enough

And can't answer for what.

Funny that you say I'm not alone

 But where are you now?

I hear you saying there's hope,

But I still see only darkness.

I've ridden the highs, felt so low,

It comes and it goes

 But it always comes back again.