Thursday, March 21, 2019

Dear Liz

I have decided I need to have enough respect for myself to let the thought of becoming "friends" with you go. You may be sweet as hell to my face, but you still fucked my ex on a bed I still had to sleep in, even after knowing how much it upset me. Left your thong on my bookshelf, fucked in my bathtub as I had the pleasure of hearing all about from Dan. You may be nice to my face, but you didn't care enough to not continue hurting me. And I understand now that I don't need or want you to like me. I deserve to be treated better than that. Better than Dan treated me for 14 years, and I want no part of anything different. Dan may have you fooled now, but he is not a nice man. It will sneak up on you little by little as he snuffs out your light. Good luck with that.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

These hands

The knowledge that more than likely, I will die by these hands someday...

Friday, May 18, 2018

Wall

You are a brick wall.
I throw arrows out of desperation,
In love and hate.
But they bounce off and
Stab me instead.

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Holes

Empty holes
All here inside
Tears are bound
To burst me wide.
Why can’t I find
My way with friends
And trust their love
Won’t quickly end?
So much fear
And shame in me
I feel like all
Around can see.
I hide in shadow
From all who care
I don’t know how
To meet them there.
Empty holes
All here inside
The pain and fear

Will burst me wide.

Thursday, May 10, 2018

Beneath the stars

Star light,
Star bright, 
how I wish
For peace tonight.
My heart is broken
Things seem dark
But in the sky
I see God’s Mark.
I wish I may
I wish I might
Find the strength

To stay tonight.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Better

When I ask myself why I don’t try harder to get better, I think I realize I don’t deserve to get better. I am still just waiting to die. I am really struggling today. Not to stay alive but to not hurt myself and to not just stay in bed.

Friday, April 13, 2018

The Moon

The Moon told me that he would shine
If I would lift my eyes.
They rose up liquid, pulled
as if they were the tide.

He held my gaze until the morn
when the lemon Sun stepped in.
Still I felt the lingering soft
of his silver on my skin.