Thursday, February 8, 2018


The stillness of my bones
does not betray
the chaos in my mind
that will not go away

I am frozen here alone
while battles rage inside
voices call me out
in waves like highest tides

None have time for this
All busy on their own
And so I sit and listen
to the voices that I own.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018


We are puzzles pieced together
Through colorful histories
And varied weather.
So many mysteries entwine
to differentiate yours
and mine
and yet
I hide the patterns
of my pieces for fear
that my mosaic will be
all too clear
and you will think you know
Just by what you see.

Like Syl

Tears glisten
On her face
now still;
The struggle over now.
She stayed so long
But the time has come
For peace
For quiet
For the churning voices
To have their way.
For silence to overtake
the chaos that lived
Inside her eyes
Now still.

Rise above?

The bracelet on my wrist says Rise Above
But why? And how?
The tattoo on my arm says
My story isn't over.
But when can it be? I'm so tired
You see.

600 friends of Facebook
And no one to come to.
600 profiles waiting
But not to hear from me
Who can I talk to?
I'm so alone I can't breathe.

Voices in my head chime in
You are broken, not for keeps
They jab and poke and hate me
And never do they sleep.
Why won't they leave me?
Why can't I be free

I just want to sleep forever
To say all my goodbyes you see
I don't want you to hate me
But I am just too weak
I can't even kill myself
So here sit and cry and plead.


In the blackness
I lose myself
In the dark I am afraid
Of what I will do.
Night calls me
To my razors edge
To say goodbye
To end my pain
And each morning
I sigh relief
Still here,
I can breathe again
For a few hours
Til in the blackness
I lose myself
Till the dark calls
To see my blood
To say good night.


Hope is a vapor
Floating through the air
A sudden swell and taper
Leaves me grasping here and there


My blood is my only friend
I can tell the truth with blades
On skin
The slice and drip and sting
Brings calm.
My hurts now have a name.
They are outside of my head
Fleshy and real and red.