Thursday, October 22, 2015


I celebrate the simple,
Giddy like a child - 'Look at me!'
Forgive a girl this pleasure,
Its been a long road you see.

Judge if you will,
I have released those chains;
I've given in to my needs
and I've let go of the reins.

Feel free to raise a glass
And smile, even cheer!
Those who've known my darkened days
Find joyous, too, these brighter years.

Monday, October 5, 2015

15 Pages

I was ready to go to practice today. Ankle be damned. ~Working Memory 16th Percentile~ I need roller derby, and if I really thought it was going to damage it further I would have stayed off of it. ~Processing Speed 18th percentile~ I was ready to go to to practice today all the way through dinner.  It was after dinner that I opened the manila envelope with 15 pages of test results. ~ Social Cognition Severe Range~ Very little of it was surprising. But that didn't make it easier. ~Social Awareness Severe Range~  Inertia carried me all the way to practice, and then I found I just couldn't. ~ Repetitive Behaviors Severe Range~ My brain is too full of scores and percentages; labels and descriptions of all of the ways my child is not normal. ~Inhibition Dysfunction Highly Elevated~ I am a cryer. There is no way around that. And today I would have cried at practice. ~Emotional Control Dysfunction Highly Elevated~ And so I went home to read and re-read.  To decide if I have any right to carve out these nights of practice when there are so many holes to be filled.  ~Metacognition Dysfunction Highly Elevated~ Money to come up with. ~Global Executive Dysfunction Highly Elevated~ Treatment plans to begin and follow through with. Appointments to make weekly. Surprise calls from the principal to field while grocery shopping.  I was going to go to practice today, but I just couldn't.