I have never been good at the games people play in social life. I opt to surround myself with people who will say what is on their mind, and allow me to do the same. People who, like me, do our best not to offend, but who keep ulterior motives off the shelf. I've found that I am just not any good at doing it any other way. This also means that I keep my guard up, instinctively, until I have tested the waters a bit.
But here in blogland it is different. I still aim to be open and honest, but I have to accept that not everyone who reads what I have to say will appreciate it. But I have to be ok with that. On this blog, I have already opened myself up far deeper and wider than I have to most people in person. In fact, all but one or two. So here's what I ask. Take me for what I am. My blog "personality" and my IRL personality are essentially the same, but writing is a passion and a release for me. Something I love to do whether anyone wants to read it or not. Maybe you feel I share too much here, or even in person, and that's ok with me. You don't have to read what I write. But everything I write comes from deep within me, and I don't think there is anything good that comes from false pretenses. I have a lot of things in my past, present and future, and while I don't feel the need to share it all with everyone, I have a feeling that if I continue to blog, much of it will be mentioned here and there, in bits and pieces, and I'm ok with that.
Everything in my life that has happened to this day, has been part of shaping who I am today. And as life continues to unfold before me I will continue to be shaped by it. I refuse to let circumstances from the past, or any that may come my way, to make me be afraid to be who I am... and since I am pretty reserved in person, I guess maybe this blog is my way of opening the doors a little. Letting a little light in, one step at a time. Toughening up my confidence in who I am as a friend, a wife, a mom, a woman, a Christian who maybe doesn't seem like a lot of the other Christians out there, a daughter, a "writer", a creative being, etc etc etc.
So should I end this speech with a "tadaa!!" a "thanks", or what??
How about just hasta la vista, I gotta pick up my babies!