I can't even put one foot in front of the other right now. I can't stand up without the tears flowing. So I'm here in the tiny WC in my bathroom. Door locked. Excuses made to the children. I find calm but each time I think of standing up and opening the door a wave of tears overcomes me. This is pathetic. But this is where I am.
I asked for a divorce. He agreed, yet we are still in the same house and bed weeks later. I ask him to leave and it breaks my heart. He says no and it breaks my heart. Friends and family say do this and that. He says no. And so I make no one happy. I have no backbone, and I don't even have enough sense to make my own decisions about all this. About life in general. So here I am. Ashamed and weak. In the bathroom. Blogging from my phone about the fact that I have no idea how I will stand up and walk out of here and face life and people at some point. And what I will do from there.